Domestic Violence Leads to Divorce

How to Hide Money From an Abusive Husband

Feb 29, 2008 Lin Burress

In order to escape an abusive husband and regain independence, abused women must often seek out secretive ways to hide money to get a divorce.

Cases of domestic violence against women by controlling and abusive husbands continues to rise in todays society, leading some victims of spousal abuse to seek out ways to hide money from their abusive husbands in order to file for divorce and move on with their lives.

Note: The highest risk time period for women in abusive relationships is just prior to leaving or just after, as abusers usually become more violent when they realize they are losing control over their victim. It is extremely important to carefully plan your escape, being very cautious to limit the number of people that know you are hiding money or seeking a divorce, thus reducing the chances your husband will find out and physically attack you.

Planning for Divorce

You must be ready to move out at a moment's notice, preferably when your husband is not home. Enlist the help of a trustworthy friend or family member to create a getaway plan and begin "borrowing" some of your clothes in small amounts, with money and jewelry carefully stashed inside of pockets, socks, etc., so your husband does not become suspicious.

Family members may or may not approve of your intention to leave your spouse, perhaps due to strict religious beliefs or because the controlling and abusive husband has managed to manipulate others into believing they are Mr. Wonderful. Use your best judgment as to whom you can and will discuss your personal choice to leave your husband, knowing you are doing what is best for you and your children.

Some women opt to open a bank account under a trusted friend's name and address, saving money towards attorney's fees or making pre-arranged advanced payments to their divorce lawyer, prior to beginning any court proceedings.

File for Divorce

If you're not sure about how to find a good attorney, contact a women's advocacy group and ask if they have an attorney referral service. Evidence of physical abuse, such as pictures and a written diary of each occurrence (including specific dates, times, etc), need to be carefully hidden and given to your divorce attorney. Records of treatment in the emergency room or visits to your doctor are invaluable resources to be given to your divorce lawyer in preparation and planning for divorce.

If your husband continuously tries to contact or harass you, file a police report after each occurrence, and seek a protective order. Use an unlisted telephone number, being extremely cautious of who you give the number to.

Keeping Safe

Have a cell phone with you at all times, just in case your husband goes into a rage about the pending divorce and intends on hurting you, so you have quick access to emergency help and police response.

Once you have separated from your husband, keep in close communication with trusted neighbors and friends. Create a code word or warning signal, such as a certain porch light that is never used but is suddenly shining bright, that clearly indicates they should call the police.

Life is simply too short to continue putting up with abuse at the hands of someone claiming to love you. Starting now, begin making your secret plans to hide money from your husband so that you and your children can live in freedom from abuse.

Further Reading:

Married To An Abuser

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