What to Expect from Divorce Mediation

Prepare to Settle Child Custody and Financial Issues Collaboratively

Jul 19, 2009

Research has shown that couples who settle their divorces through mediation have higher levels of satisfaction and compliance than couples who litigate.

Mediation gives couples more control over their divorce settlement than litigation. For parents who will have to continue working together to raise children even after the divorce, mediation can teach communication and conflict resolution skills that will be invaluable in the coming years.

The thought of mediation can be intimidating, but with a thorough understanding of how the process works and what to expect, it is not nearly as overwhelming.

Mediation Cost

Mediator's fees vary by location but average between $100 and $300 per hour. How long mediation takes depends on the particular issues of the case and how willing the parties are to negotiate. The cost is generally split equally between the parties and is payable on the spot.

Mediation Outcomes

Types of Mediation

Each mediator will have his/her own style, but there are two primary methods. The first involves open sessions where the mediator and both parties are in a room together (with or without attorneys) discussing all of the issues. The second involves "caucuses" where the mediator meets with one party (and his/her attorney if applicable) then goes to a different room and meets with the other party. Each method has pros and cons but it will help to understand the mediator's preference.

Legal Counsel

Each party may choose to have an attorney present during mediation, to consult an attorney during breaks or between sessions, or not to hire an attorney at all.

Each party will pay his/her attorney separately from the fees paid to the mediator. Having an attorney present throughout the mediation will increase the cost and may increase the tension during negotiations.

Either party may feel more comfortable having an attorney present because his/her primary objective is to advise that party and look out for that party's best interests, whereas the mediator cannot give legal advice and is supposed to remain neutral.

In some cases, the divorcing couple will need an attorney to draft the final documents and file them in court after an agreement is reached in mediation. If the mediator is an attorney, he/she may be able to draft the documents and file them for an additional fee. It is always a good idea to have the documents reviewed by an attorney before signing them.

The Role of the Mediator

Many mediators are former accountants, counselors, or attorneys. The mediator's professional background may impact his or her approach to mediation. Some mediators may focus more on certain aspects of the issues than others.

During mediation, the mediator is supposed to remain completely neutral. He/she may provide information about relevant laws but may not give legal advice to either party. The mediator may also offer an opinion about how certain issues will look to an attorney or a judge, but this is only an opinion based on personal experience.

The mediator will listen to both sides of each issue, ensure that everyone remains calm and is treated with respect, and offer possible solutions and alternatives. The mediator does not make a decision on any of the issues. Both parties are free to suggest their own alternatives and do not have to agree to anything they are uncomfortable with.

When divorcing spouses resort to litigation to settle their issues, they give up all control over the situation and submit themselves to the judgment of the court. Alternative dispute resolution, such as mediation, allows the couple to work with an objective third party to resolve the issues themselves while maintaining some control over the final agreement. An understanding of the mediation process should help to alleviate any anxiety and allow both parties to maximize the mediation experience.

Resources

The copyright of the article What to Expect from Divorce Mediation in Divorce is owned by Barbara Thompson. Permission to republish What to Expect from Divorce Mediation in print or online must be granted by the author in writing.